← /research

Writing Dialogue

Processing · Literature Review Created Jan 4, 2025
Project: writing
writingcraftdialoguefiction

Dialogue is not real speech—it’s the illusion of real speech. As Hemingway demonstrated, great dialogue captures rhythm and feel without the tedious “ums” and rambling of actual conversation. The goal: stylized speech that feels authentic.

The Master Rule

Elmore Leonard: “If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.”

The craft should disappear. Only the characters remain.

Making Characters Sound Distinct

If you remove dialogue tags, can readers still identify who’s speaking? That’s the test.

Four criteria for voice distinction:

  • Simple vs. complex vocabulary
  • Succinct vs. colorful expression
  • Slang vs. conventional grammar
  • Straightforward vs. clever delivery

What shapes a character’s speech:

  • Education and background
  • Profession (doctors speak differently than soldiers)
  • Sentence length (some ramble; others speak in fragments)
  • Speech tics (“like,” refusal to swear, regional slang)
  • Emotional state

Subtext: What Goes Unsaid

Characters rarely say exactly what they mean. They hint, dodge, imply, dance around the truth. The meaning beneath the surface is where the power lives.

Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants” discusses abortion without ever using the word. The drama is told entirely through subtext.

Techniques for subtext:

  1. Don’t say what you mean—come at it sideways
  2. Use body language during dialogue
  3. Employ silence and pauses
  4. Have characters deflect with humor or topic changes
  5. Unexpected responses—lies, misunderstandings, ducking questions

Exercise: Two prisoners waiting to be hanged. They talk about anything but that—the weather, their last meal, a mouse. Notice how every word fills with unspoken meaning.

The “Said” Debate

The minimalist camp (Leonard, King):

  • “Said” is invisible—our brains process it like punctuation
  • “Never use a verb other than ‘said’ to carry dialogue”
  • Alternative tags feel like over-explanation

The balanced view:

  • 90% of tags should be “said” or “asked”
  • Reserve vivid verbs (“snarled,” “guffawed”) for moments where delivery truly matters
  • Occasional color packs real punch when used sparingly

Action beats as alternative: Instead of tags, show what the character does:

"I don't know." He turned toward the window.

This replaces the tag while revealing character.

Dialogue as Action and Conflict

Aaron Sorkin: “I’m constantly looking for where is the point of friction—two people have to disagree on something for there to be a scene.”

David Mamet’s three questions for every scene:

  1. Who wants what?
  2. What happens if they don’t get it?
  3. Why now?

If you can’t answer these, the scene isn’t dramatic.

Creating tension:

  • Power dynamics—when one character holds power, conversation becomes charged
  • Competing goals create organic momentum
  • Characters having two different conversations
  • Internal vs. external goals in conflict

Pacing with Beats

Action, description, and internal thought create pauses. Use them strategically:

  • Snappy exchanges: Keep dialogue clipped, minimal beats
  • Tense moments: Insert narrative between lines
  • Reflective scenes: Let characters take their time

Avoid the “puppet show”: Overusing beats—every line having choreography (tucking hair, shifting in seats)—distracts from dialogue. Beats must be purposeful.

Common Dialogue Mistakes

  1. “As You Know, Bob” — Characters telling each other information they already know
  2. Fancy dialogue tags — “Uttered,” “proclaimed,” “mouthed”
  3. Adverb overuse — “She said coyly”
  4. All characters sounding identical
  5. Information dumps disrupting pacing
  6. Unnecessary dialogue — Phone calls that don’t advance plot
  7. Characters floating in space — No grounding in physical setting
  8. Not reading aloud — Dialogue that looks fine but sounds awkward

Punctuation Rules

  • New speaker = new paragraph (always)
  • Punctuation goes inside quotation marks (US)
  • Questions/exclamations: tag begins lowercase (“What?” she asked)
  • Multi-paragraph dialogue: opening quote each paragraph, closing quote only when finished
  • Ellipses for trailing off; em dash for interruption

Lessons from Masters

Elmore Leonard:

  • Rule 3: Never use a verb other than “said”
  • Rule 4: Never use an adverb to modify “said”
  • “There has to be a rhythm… Interviewers have said, you like jazz, don’t you? Because we can hear it.”

Hemingway (Iceberg Theory): Only 10% on the page; the rest alluded to. Compression: minimal language generating powerful meaning.

Raymond Carver: Elliptical dialogue where characters speak past one another. Conversations end before reaching conclusions. The inability to communicate creates isolation.

Cormac McCarthy (No Quotation Marks): “If you write properly, you shouldn’t have to punctuate.” Blurs lines between narrative and speech, forcing readers to pay closer attention.

David Mamet: “The audience will not tune in to watch information… only drama.” The silent movie test: if you pretend characters can’t speak, you’ll be writing great drama.

Avoiding “On the Nose” Dialogue

On-the-nose: Characters say exactly what they think or feel without subtext.

Why it fails: Unnatural. Readers feel characters are talking to them rather than to each other.

Fixes:

  1. Show through action instead
  2. Have characters talk about something else (Tarantino’s cheeseburger hitmen)
  3. Reveal exposition piecemeal
  4. Use conflict to deliver information
  5. Trust the reader—they need less than you think

Useful technique: Write on-the-nose first draft to understand what characters want. Then revise to hide those thoughts beneath surface conversation.

Exercises

Subtext argument: Two characters almost have an argument but don’t. The ostensible topic is trivial (dishes, TV) while larger tension remains unstated.

Strip the scene: Remove all tags and descriptions, leaving only spoken words. Do they convey enough on their own?

Character lottery: Three characters win the lottery. How does each reveal the news differently?

Eavesdropping: Listen to a real conversation. Transcribe it. Study speech patterns.

Compression: Take existing dialogue, count words, then cut 50%.

Core Principles

  1. Dialogue is compressed, stylized speech—not transcription
  2. Every character needs a distinct voice
  3. Subtext is where the power lives
  4. “Said” disappears; fancy tags distract
  5. Characters should want conflicting things
  6. Pace with purpose—beats slow; rapid exchanges quicken
  7. Read aloud—your ear catches what eyes miss
  8. Trust the reader—less exposition than you think
  9. If it sounds like writing, rewrite it